FLAVOR PROFILE: Patient 'Zero' is our signature custard flavor. It is very vanilla custard but also leans towards a bit of a vanilla pudding to some of my customers. It's smooth and rich and blends well with other flavors of ours; like Mana Biscuit for example.
Oh now, what have we here?
This tag says "Patient 'Zero'" and of course, everything has a back story doesn't it? Yes, yes it does.
Those that keep up with our lab blog know of this flavor and how it came to pass. But if you haven't, and you don't know... well, this is the story.
One of our scientists came in to the lab with a HUMAN subject after I had asked him to bring something NON human. Preferably something like a zombie, or something just as unfortunate so that we could happily test on it and not feel terrible. However, this human had asked to be used as a test subject as he had some sort of nasty virus and was hoping we could cure him. That wasn't really our intention, and not really something we needed as a curve in our plans for the experiment we wanted to run, but we are MEN AND WOMEN OF SCIENCE, and well, challenge accepted.
We have a rule in the lab not to name things we are testing on. We end up getting too attached to them, and they wind up as 'pets' at our lab. Please see exhibit A: The werewolf, Mr.Pickle. A rather nasty pet, but we named him and now we have a flea problem on our hands.
So this man became known as Patient 'Zero', and our hard work began on trying to do two things; Cure him, and also run our own experiment. The result was a combination of his virus turning in to a sort of... 'custard disease'. He had a pungent and delicious smell, tasted amazing (don't ask how we came to know this please, some information must stay in the lab), and yet he had a terrible cough, his skin looked terrible and when he talked it sounded like he was under water.
We created a serum that cured him of all of these ailments, but the serum itself had that same sweet and delicious smell and taste. One of our technicians likes to vape while he works (much more preferable than whistling in my very not so humble opinion) and he accidentally dripped some of Patient 'Zero's serum in to his atomizer. He began vaping it and his eyes lit up like a child's eyes at Christmas, and he began to say 'ahhhhhh' in a very high pitched and whiny tone.
I didn't think he would be okay, but he looked so HAPPY. I ran over as any semi-concerned boss would do, and to my surprise he thrust his mod (much less dirty than it sounds) at me and demanded I vape it. My curiosity prevailed and I took a large pull off of it, fully expecting to die, or catch the custard disease. NOTHING HAPPEND but pure delight. A sense of amazement and wonder came over me, and I too became giddy with glee, expecting Santa to walk in to the lab at any moment with an armload full of presents!
From that moment we knew that this was to become a new flavor in our store of bewilderment and wonder! Patient 'Zero' would be our signature custard vape.
Enjoy it Earthlings! And we hope you don't catch the custard disease like our dear old Patient 'Zero' (who is still living at the lab by the way)